My pet project Channel 15 now has an office. Great location. We also got
three new board members to hopefully help take it to the next step. Two former board members stepped down to make room for the new folks, but without the help of these ďcharterĒ members, I would not have
gotten this project to non profit status. Thatís me in the middle, front row..always the shortest person around. Oct. 13, 2001.
In June-2001 another loved one passed away. Joaquin Carrion Sr., a man who was like like a fther to me many times when I needed him. He was my
sister-in-lawís dad and he treated me with the utmost kindnest all of my life. When I was in Manila in Nov. 2000, I visited him at his hospital suite but he wasnít cogent enough to know
I was there, but he was surrounded by his family who adored him, and rightly so. I have always loved poppy and I always will. Goodbye Poppy, and thanks for being so kind to me all of my life.
April 3, 2001
A little over a week ago one of my 70 or so first cousins died
of cancer. God, he was only couple of years younger than me. What a travesty. He leaves behind 3 young children and a wife. Poor Tony. I am so glad I was able to see him in
Manila last November. I urged him then to seek a doctor for that persistant cough he had. And now just a few months after that heís gone. Itís so depressing. Goodbye Pinsan.
Life under the best of circumstances is so difficult isnít it?
March 9th, 2001
I sent out the link to some of the stories I have written on
other pages to friends. The responses have amazed, surprised and encouraged me. Uhh ohhh. However, my mother did read them as well and she felt so awful. Sheís
thinking what is everyone going to think of her as a mother...where was she this whole time. So in her defense I have to say, that although circumstances, life, fate,
karma, whatever you call it, placed me in harms way as a child, I would NEVER have been able to make it through life without the love of my mother. It is she and my
father both, whose unconditional love have made me the person I am. I would never have made it through all these tragedies had my mother, especially her in
those days, not been there for me. After I was kidnapped, I came back an entirely different person. She had no idea what was going on, what could have caused this
radical change in her daughter. And I could not tell her. I would sometimes sit and cry for hours and this bewildered her. She had no idea how to help me. But she
loved me no less. I would rail and scream at both my parents when provoked, so much rage did I have inside of me. But she never turned her back on me. Today my
mother is, aside from my husband, the best friend I have ever had and I adore her with all my heart. We do not always agree on things in life, but she has always
accepted me no matter what I have said to her; she has never turned away. Without this moral support, there is no doubt in my mind that I would long ago have
continued on my self destructive quest to do away with myself. So to you mom, ďI love you and this site is a tribute to YOUR love for meĒ.
Yesterday I got a call from a friend of mine who is the Executive director for the Mt. Shasta Chamber of
Commerce. She invited me to come to the Chamber meeting for lunch as her guest. Hmmmm...she is adamant, I figure sheís recruiting new members. So I go, after everyone is asked to introduce
themselves, the President of the Chamber, Tom Moore, says ďand now I would like Diana Pollard to come up to the podiumĒ. Oh geez. What the hell is this about, some mistake, I grab the agenda, nope
Iím not scheduled to speak. He pulls up a basket decorated like the 4th of July with live plants, holds out a plaque and begins a speech about how much they appreciate me for my efforts for fundraising for
the Annual 4th of July Fireworks for the town. Holy cow, I have tears in my eyes. Iím so touched and surprised. I never did this for recognition. I did it because its an
old tradition in this town that brings thousands of families together each year. I expected no thanks or rewards other than seeing everyone gather in droves from
our town to enjoy a tradition that has lasted in their memories for 4 generations. I have to admit...being appreciated sure feels good.
March 6, 2001- 8:47 p.m.
Spent the day in glorious warmth in Redding today. Oh! Blessed warmth. I thought even my soul was beginning to freeze in this land of snow. Tony and I dropped in on
mom and dad and they seemed to be doing well. I hate living so far from them, although, an hour away doesnít seem so long to most people, to a recluse, an hour
away might as well be a galaxy away. Itís a concentrated effort for me to drive down to see them as often as the weather permits, which lately, has been once
every two weeks. Being in the warm air snapped me out of my moribund frame of mind, and tonight doesnít seem as dreary as most.
Feb. 26th- 5:19 pm
Tita Lydia called today to let me know that Tita Hely Limjoco has passed away in her sleep. Lucky lady died in her sleep in her own home and bed in her 80ís. What a
great way to go. I should be so lucky. Iíve been feeling a bit down lately. Canít figure out why exactly. When I try to think of a good reason, I cannot. Whatís to be
depressed about, I have my own home, people that love me, and so far Iím healthy. Must be cabin fever. I have this awful feeling that time is running out for me. Iíve
cheated death clearly twice in my life, and I feel like I am living on borrowed time. I feel I want to make every moment count for something.
Feb. 22, 2001 10:53 p.m.
I found a bunch of old photos of various and sundry friends. I had decided to put up a scrapbook portion with mostly just photos to look at, then couldnít quite refrain
from rambling in there too. My brain is fried. Iím going to grab a late dinner and play some Quake2 and let my evil twin Squeeze out to play.
Feb. 21, 2001- 11:49 a.m.
Guess what I woke up to?? More snow.....&^^%$&^#@+):Ē}~. Fortunately the sun is out now,
but of course itís so bright outside and with the glare of the snow Iím about to go blind. Canít find my sun glasses, am starving... whine, whine, whine. Thank God Bob and Sue
invited us for lunch today, and we are leaving soon. I hate to cook when I am busy. I woke up at 4:30 a.m. That will teach me to go to bed before midnight.
Feb. 20th-2001- 8:17 p.m.
Seems silly to be writing a diary so late in life. I always tried to have on as a child...in fact I did start one when I was about 13 or so I think. It was a fancy one and it even had a lock and
key. Unfortunately, my mother, being a mother, found the key, and read it... KILL ME NOW. I suppose at this stage in the game, I donít care who reads this drivel. Itís getting off my chest...so thatís all that matters.
Flash back to 1966...photo of me on right at 16 years old. And so in love. Oh yes, I know, itís scandalous perhaps. But I was so in love. And yes, he was an older man. It seemed symphonies would start to play in our heads when
we saw each other. I was always so aquiver, short of breath. I think being in love is like having a virus in that way. No it didnít work out, but he built me castles in the
sky and fantasy memories that still make me grin. That experience was a crossroad for me. Wow come to think of it, I found that lace top I was wearing in that photo on the
right. Am going to have to scan it in. Good grief, that thing is, whoa, get a grip, 35 years old!
Thatís me on the left, 10 years old, before we moved to Batangas. I was studying at Maryknoll in Manila. I remember the color of this uniform. It was the oddest shade of green,
like creamy peppermint. I abhor that color. I barely remember that school. We transferred to Batangas after about a year I think. Then I got to wear a blue uniform at St.
Bridgetís. I hated uniforms. The only thing I can remember about this period is one night looking up at the ceiling and seeing two gigantic red millepedes crawling on the ceiling above my head.
FREAKOUT. Never been the same every since. Talk about creepy, and later I found out pretty dangerous too. I think my dad came to the rescue with a broom. I mean butikis were one thing, they were
cute. You could even see their little organs in their bodies and Iíd watch them catch mosquitoes by the dozens with that long tongue of theirs. But these horrible millipedes had to be from the bowels of hell!
Feb. 20th-2001- 5:44 P.M.
Wow. I found this old photo of mom during the Binyagan of a child, I donít know who, but mom is so beautiful and I canít believe the way this child is staring at my mother. Gosh, this was
probably taken in 1953 or so. Father Quison, our cousin on my paternal side was the priest. My mother, ever the curious, is looking at the bible the priest is reading out of. It looks lights sheís
daydreaming without the others in the photo. People used to look at my mom and then look at me and wonder which rockshe found me under. They were cruel enough to even say it to me! No wonder is was so messed up.
I used to adore going to the beach when I was a kid. I would even pretend to be sick so my mother would
take me to get some sea air for my lungs, as I had asthma then. My dad a beach house built in the style of the native nipa hut in Anilao. I used to marvel
me with its efficiency of allowing the breezes to come in and refresh us.
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